Self-Love Is Not Selfish!

Why isn't there a holiday where we celebrate the love for ourselves?  Shouldn't there be? 

The problem is many people consider self-love to be, well, selfish. They believe if you love yourself, then that means you're putting yourself above others. And you're depriving them of the love they deserve.

But they're wrong!

For one thing, it's silly to think there's only a limited amount of love to go around.  Love is unlimited. And loving yourself doesn't mean you're selfish. In fact, just the opposite is true. An inability to love and trust ourselves are based in feelings of unworthiness, which leads to competitiveness, jealousy, and resentment toward others. So, the more confident you feel about yourself, the more love you'll be willing to give to others. 

You may find that you're suffering from the "disease to please." The "disease to please" means you're always putting other people's needs ahead of your own.  This behavior comes from not loving yourself enough and believing other people's needs are more important than your own. If you often experience the "disease to please," you may find that you often say "Yes" to other people's demands when you really want to say "No!" but you're unable to. People with the "disease to please" are deeply insecure and are desperate for the approval of others, like an addition. 

It's not a bad thing if you always want to make others happy, but it shouldn't be at the great expense of your own happiness and well-being. If you have an unhealthy obsession with always being "nice" by putting other people first and frequently please them at the expense of your own happiness, it can lead to devastating emotional consequences. People-pleasing behavior stems from wanting to get a temporary sense of worth based on another person’s approval. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be helpful to others, but people-pleasers don't love themselves enough, and for that reason, they depend on the acceptance of others to feel good about themselves.  

During childhood, we are taught to care for others such as our parents, grandparents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. But it's rare when a child is taught the importance of self-care and love. So, it's no wonder why the idea of self-love makes so many people believe self-love means a selfish disregard for others and feel guilty.

But nothing is further from the truth. Self-love provides life-changing benefits.  

Self-love can positively influence your physical and emotional health, and improve your relationships with others. If you start embracing all the unique qualities about yourself in a loving way, you'll also begin to appreciate the positive traits in others, as well. The same goes for loving yourself -- you'll start loving and respecting the people around you.   

The Buddha said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe deserve your love and affection."  

You can't truly love another person until you learn to love yourself. Loving oneself is the prerequisite for loving others and for others to love us. That's why if more people started practicing self-love and acceptance, the world would become a much more loving and peaceful place.